Posting this since no one's going to read it anyway.
Have left this blog unattended as I've recently switched back to diary writing. Able to express my emotions more  and write anything, even something close to heart.

Recently, I have been having these negative thoughts. Not too sure whether it's from the exam stress.
It's quite a normal occurence for me even in the past, to think too much.
Just that for these few days, I feel like every insult i throw at myself become more real. & I feel this sense of suffocation with thousands of eyes judging my every word and movement. People remembering every mistake i made.

I'm hating on myself more and more with every passing day. I feel like i don't deserve any love from anyone. & that's probably why i feel that people hate me & i'm being judged for everything i do. I get so uptight about how other people view me. & i try to change myself to fit other people's expectations. and then i get confused about who i really am with these different personalities i try to fit into. Sounds like some cliched drama i know.

I've confessed to my YEP team about this and even promised myself that I should not be so hard on myself and take my life a bit more seriously. It's just that during nights like this when i'm alone these thoughts just silently invade my mind.

Getting abit personal here. Gonna bury my head in my books.